Episode 2: On Record Reviews

I'm still figuring out how to do this without coming across as a huge douche. I can't tell you the number of record reviews I read that amount to little more than some opinionated ninny brandishing his academic muscles. The esoteric references and tangential metaphors--made worse by the personal anecdotes that have little to do with the actual music--make many reviews little more than some dude blowing his load all over the page. Take Pitchfork Media's explanation of the song "Seasun" off the Aryton Senna EP from Barcelona band Dolorean:

"Seasun is the best example of Delorean's layered approach to composition, methodically building 1990's piano-house keyboards, disembodied female vocals, Baltimore club-ready handclaps, and a ringing guitar line into the ultimate beach house (not Beach House)."

What a dick.

I mean, seriously--what the fuck does that sentence even mean? "1990's piano-house keyboards?" "Disembodied female vocals?" "Baltimore club-ready handclaps?" Apparently, if I am to understand this critic's explanation of just one track on Delorean's EP, not only do I need to school myself in obscure 1990's piano/keyboard infused house music, but I also need to go clubbing in Baltimore, do my best to believe in vocal tracks existing without any real source,and--for extra hipster points--pick up on his Beach House bon mot. How does this in any way help someone who has not listened to this album understand what it might sound like? One would have to be impressively well-versed in the sounds and annals of independent music to successfully unpack this sentence. Wouldn't it be more sensible to say something like, "If you like peppy dance-pop and electronica that makes you feel like it's summer, then you should listen to this album"?

But maybe I'm being ridiculous. Isn't this brand of esoteric referencing reserved for all such niche communities? If I spent 8-10 hours a day reading record reviews and listening to music, it's likely that my coarse knowledge base would sharpen itself into something more polished, more refined. This transformation would, in turn, affect the ways in which I approach, listen to, and discuss music. And, after all, it's important to keep one's audience in mind. Who is more likely to read reviews on Pitchfork Media: the casual music fan who appreciates the occasional recommendation from a friend, or the geeky music buff with an insatiable musical appetite? I'd wager it's the latter of the two.

Of course, record reviewing is itself an art form. It's a thorny process. It's the subtle combination of one's unique writing style and one's ability to creatively and concisely describe the music being reviewed. I always marvel at people who have the uncanny ability to describe something in a way that is so well-suited for the subject you'd think they spent months coming up with it. And isn't that what a review of any sort comes down to? An evocative and, perhaps, creative description that draws you towards or repels you from the thing being reviewed?

My favorite reviews are concise. They often include ridiculous metaphors and sentences that go something like, "This is the type of record I would want to listen to after two beers on a muggy August afternoon on my carpeted living room floor."

Okay, I'm done. Check out these records (sorry if I've already told some of you about them):

Artist: The XX

Album: XX

Click here to listen.

Listen to this album when you're looking to seriously chill. Awesome mix of spacious electronic and Interpol-esque guitar. Sweet interplay between male and female vocalist. If I had to choose two words to describe the album, they would be "addictive" and "sexy."

Artist: Delorean

Album: Ayrton Senna EP

Click here to listen.

If there were a modern electronica/dance record that people used to encourage the sun to come out on rainy days, this would surely be it. Check out the song "Seasun." This is the type of electronic that's saccharine without being cloying. Makes me smile and dance around my room in my sweatpants.

Artist: Neon Indian

Album: Psychic Chasm

Click here to listen

If you like your dance pop sprinkled with a murky layer of 80's computer psychedelia, throw on your headphones and give this a listen. What the hell is "computer psychedelia"? No idea. It just sounds right.

Artist: Various

Album: Legends of Benin

Click here to listen

Awesome label, Analogue Africa, continues to put out some really cool compilations from the best African music. This one is a collection of songs from Benin, the country running along the Western boarder of Nigeria. I believe the songs were all recorded between the late sixties and early eighties by four famous composers. Awesome if you're into some sweet drumming, guitar work, and vocals.

Artist: Baroness

Album: Blue Record

Click here to listen

For god's sake, challenge yourself! This is metal. Really cool record with some amazing musicians and a surprising amount of space. I don't know any of you who would elect to listen to this for fun, but I'm trying to include records that have helped me expand my pallet. This is definitely one of them.

I definitely recommend checking out these albums as well:

1. Animal Collective's new EP, "Fall Be Kind"

2. Real Estate's self titled album

3. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros "From Below"